I Shall Yet Praise Him

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
(Psalm 42:11)

God is working. It feels slow, but it really isn’t–it’s just that the uglier things in myself He is showing me make it feel more drawn out. But I know He’s revealing such things only to make me more Christ-like.

I want my desires and the things I delight in to be what He wants me to delight in. I want to become the woman of God He is molding me into. I want to be a vessel open to His leading, to be used by Him however He seeks.

God is blessing too, though it can be harder to see at times. Sometimes it takes a while to listen to what He’s telling me will help; not just spiritually, but physically and emotionally as well so that I can be fully prepared to be used as He seeks. Finally I’m doing something about the layers of muscle tension that built up due to a former job that was hard on my body physically. It’ll take a little time, but hopefully not as long as I spent injuring myself.

God is also blessing me with people in my life who help and inspire me, even some of you! We don’t even know each other that well, but I so cherish all of you in the blog/Twitter world who inspire and reach out and who keep me, my family, and the church I serve in your prayers.

I pray for God to open my eyes to truly see how He is working in even the tiniest details. I want to see, hear, and perceive as He would have me to, and thank Him all the more for every single thing He is doing.

I want Him to continue doing surgery on this vessel, that I may become truly usable for His glory alone & to truly seek Him and His kingdom first. I don’t want to only glow for Him, I want the light to be a flood, touching every person who God puts in my path.

I don’t get so much of this Christian walk, but God is ever faithful. Despite all my worries and doubts I know that He will do all and more as He promises in His Word. I trust that He will give me the grace to be content in whatever His will is, however it pans out.

One thought on “I Shall Yet Praise Him

  1. What a precious, honest blog entry. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I see many parallels to my own journey as I read your desires. Keep leaning into what God is showing you, what He is revealing, even the pain shows you things. Maybe I should say that the pain especially shows you things – weaknesses, strengths, etc. But as you say, God is working in that to mature us, to heal us, to force us to honestly look at our hearts so we might indeed become Christlike. I have a favorite quote…..”We become desperate to learn in the darkness what we were afraid to face in the light.” In other words the pain and dark times break us. We are more pliable, more willing. In the times of ease we ignore what’s going on within us. In the dark times we become desperate and thus more fully submitted. In my dark times I’ve learned lessons about myself I would have never even considered thinking about in good times. ouch. that hurts. but in the end it is good.

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