I’ve been praying some dangerous prayers lately.
By sharing these I’m not trying to be super-spiritual or anything. It hurts to pray these prayers! It scares me to pray them! I just want to sleep off the time it takes in the process of getting where God wants me. Some of what I’m finding is just how impatient I am when I pray such things! I so want to just be there–but I fail constantly, and not a one of us will “arrive” until Christ returns and changes us in the blink of an eye! As the Word says, my spirit is willing, but my flesh is oh so weak!
What I’m praying lately:
Purify me. In all things. Mind, heart, soul. Motives, will, EVERYTHING. Erase all the desires in me that are not of You. Give me the discernment to know the difference. (Psalm 37:3-5) My heart’s cry: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” and “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3, Matthew 5:8)
I want to love You more and more, God. I want to live for You without selfishness or pride. A servant’s heart, and seeing others as You see them.
I want to want You alone. Not merely the blessings You give, though they are so wonderful. Not merely the feelings that accompany being in Your presence and loving You. But You alone. I want to enjoy the things that come with a relationship with You, but I want to want You above all those things.
I want to want Your will for my life. For the call You have placed on my life. For the man You have chosen for me to marry. For whatever I’m supposed to do in living for You, both the big and small, in all aspects of life.
In all these things, patience. Help me to enjoy the process of You working in me, and the process of growing into a deeper relationship with You.
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.